Abbie’s story: How social care has given me control over my life

“From the very beginning, my parents were determined that I would have the same opportunities as anyone else, despite me having cerebral palsy. They pushed for me to attend mainstream school at a time when most children with disabilities went to specialist schools. Fortunately, we had an incredible occupational therapist who supported us throughout my childhood until I was 18, who truly listened to what we wanted and helped make things happen.

I’m so grateful I experienced mainstream education. I met a great group of friends and passed my GCSEs, before deciding to attend Treloar’s Specialist College in Hampshire.

College was great. I boarded there, which helped me get used to being away from my family and learn to live independently. I studied A-levels in photography and art, and we also learnt essential life skills that continue to help me today, like learning to drive! 

Returning to the ‘real world’ was tough after college. My mum became my carer again, which was challenging for both of us after I had experienced independence. I went on the council housing waiting list and was offered a flat in supported accommodation, mainly occupied by older people. As a young woman in my 20s, I didn’t feel like I belonged, so I continued living at home.

I went on to study at the University of Winchester to study Childhood, Youth, and Community Studies. It was there that I was introduced to direct payments and we employed a full-time personal assistant (PA), Ellie, who was the same age as me. This meant we just blended into student life—people saw us as two friends. We used to joke that she got the full student experience without having to do the work!

During my final year of university, I met Tom, while watching my brother play rugby, and we started dating. I’d always wondered if marriage and children would be part of my future, but my disability never fazed Tom. Eventually, we moved in together.

To set up the care I needed to live independently with Tom, I returned to direct payments, which is when I met Mary from Wiltshire Centre for Living (CIL). She offered me a volunteer role at Wiltshire CIL, which soon led to a job as a support planner. Since then, I’ve progressed to leading the Centre’s co-production work, supported by Dani, who is my PA at work, funded through the DWP. We’ve worked together for four years now, and while we maintain a good professional working relationship, we are good friends too.

With the right support, I can work and raise my daughters.

When I had my first daughter, Summer in 2017, I decided to employ my mum as my PA at home. I needed intensive support, both for myself and my daughter, and there was no one else I could rely on as completely. Those early days with a newborn hit me like a tonne of bricks. It was hard not being able to do certain things for my daughter that I wanted to as a mother. I relied on my mum for so much, and my husband took on the night feeds, which meant the bond with Summer took a little longer for me to build in the early days of motherhood.

Today, I truly enjoy being a mum. With both Summer and Georgie now in school, I’m just beginning to gain the confidence to pop to the shop independently with them and they come to me for help. I still receive personal care through direct payments, with my mum providing support for both myself and my children.

Social care, and specifically direct payments, have given me control over my life and the ability to achieve things I once doubted were possible. With the right support, I can work and raise my daughters. Sadly, I know this isn’t the case for everyone, and many people still have to fight for the services they are entitled to. It shouldn’t be that way.”